2.7.14's pre-Pride party "Pride at the Armory: Prison of Love" | pro et contra


  • Depending on the visuals, costumes, projections and demonstrations, for sexual athlete Sebastian Keys, it’s all a form of performative erotica"Everyone has a sore spot, but we're treating it like any BDSM practice. Yes, there are whips and chains, and people screaming at the top of their lungs. But it's all consensual. Even if it's derived from horrific events in the past, we're taking our own spin on it, that the power goes to the one that's receiving it. The submissive partner is really the one in power." //
  • Prison-Themed Pride Party Ends With Arrests,  At least six people were arrested in San Francisco on Saturday, after protesting outside a ‘prison-themed’ Pride party. The protest, put on by LGBTQ activist group Gay Shame, totaled around 150 people who were unhappy with the theme of the party, “Prison of Love.” The group had previously written: “While trans women and gender nonconforming people of color are kidnapped, tortured, brutalized and murdered by the prison industrial complex, KINK.COM and SF PRIDE have once again turned these genocidal practices into a cash-making joke. ...Incarcerated homosexual and bisexual men are sexually assaulted at rates ten times higher than their heterosexual counterparts. ...Callahan also raves for the new season of the Netflix series "Orange is the New Black." The web company's CEO is a right-wing conservative, and the series brings a darkly comedic yet fictional aspect to life in women's prisons.

before Parade:


BDSM, sex and relaxation: news and ideas · (c)Mem's digest



"Uninformed must improve their deficit, or die."

Cheshire Cat


BDSM Book News Top 100

BDSM Book News Top 100

Based on the week ending Sat 21 Jun 2014 In association with, this is a weekly list of the one hundred best selling BDSM and Fetish non-fiction books. (We're starting to compile a list for BDSM fiction too.) The figures in brackets show the book's ranking in the previous week.

20 (24) Domestic Discipline by Jules Markham
24 (20) The Better Built Bondage Book: A Complete Guide to Making Your Own Sex Toys, Furniture and BDSM Equipment by Douglas Kent
29 (46) Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice (M/s Studies Books) by Robert J Rubel PhD
37 (38) Look Into My Eyes: How To Use Hypnosis To Bring Out The Best In Your Sex Life by Peter Masters
40 (48) Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
71 (43) Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships by Jack Rinella


German court rules ex-lovers should wipe out intimate photos after breakup

In what could be a landmark ruling, a court in Koblenz has forced a man to delete private erotic photos and videos of his former girlfriend, even though she consented to the photography and took some of the pictures herself.
After a breakup, an unnamed woman from Hesse in central Germany sued her photographer ex-boyfriend over the photos, which he had kept for himself without an intent to publish.
The judge ruled that the unnamed defendant has to delete the intimate images – in which the partner is not clothed, or is engaged in sexual acts – but is allowed to keep any pictures in which she is clothed.


University graduates have more risque sex - but those without a degree are more active between the sheets
Graduates have less sex than non-graduates, new research has revealed (file picture)
  • 13% of non-graduates have sex daily, compared to 10% of graduates
  • 2/3 of graduates have tried bondage but only 37% of non-graduates have
  • 77% of non-graduates had sex outside, compared to 70% with a degree

Graduates often command higher incomes and higher-profile jobs than those without a degree.
But, new research suggests they lose out in the bedroom.
The survey shows those who missed out on university are more likely to have sex every day than those who have a degree.
Some 13 per cent of non-graduates have sex daily, compared to 10 per cent of graduates.
However, graduates are more risky between the sheets with two thirds having tried bondage with 44 per cent claiming to have enjoyed it.
In contrast, only 37 per cent of non-graduates have tried bondage.

22.5.14 Everyday sadists take pleasure in others' pain

September 12, 2013
Association for Psychological Science
Most of the time, we try to avoid inflicting pain on others -- when we do hurt someone, we typically experience guilt, remorse, or other feelings of distress. But for some, cruelty can be pleasurable, even exciting. According to new research, this kind of everyday sadism is real and more common than we might think.

ScienceDaily: Your source for the latest research news


Even Female Superheroes Are Unable to Break the Glass Ceiling in Hollywood

"...In some ways, these films [Captain America,The Dark Knight Rises etc.] paint a progressive picture of gender relations, and they could provide important role models for the next generation of women; but without superpowers, these strong, independent women will always be second-class citizens to the male superheroes. Despite Black Widow's ability to kick ass and take names, she is never really a formidable threat. She never fights anyone with superpowers because if she did, she would lose.  
More significantly, Black Widow remains an object of the male gaze so that her real power can always be compartmentalized by the young men in the audience. Clad in skintight black, she is closer to a BDSM fantasy than a genuine threat to the male hierarchy, and the way the camera objectifies her — particularly in that opening sequence where the camera lingers at ass-level as she walks away — ensures that she never really challenges the traditional gender roles that we have become accustomed to seeing on film.
It's the same story for Elektra and Catwoman, who notably also wear skin-tight outfits that show off their assets, and Hit Girl in the Kick-Ass films, which take things to a new, twisted level by making their female superhero not just sexualized, but also a child. Male superheroes are rarely seen as sexual objects and often remain hidden behind masks (Spider-Man), armor-like suits (Iron Man) or a ghoulish alter ego (Hulk).

Of course, most of this is a matter of marketing. The objectification of women in film may be inevitable as long as men ages 18-39 remain Hollywood's most prized demographic, but making a movie about a genuine female superhero — with actual superpowers and not in a supporting role — would be a huge step in the right direction."


Clean Your Sex Toys Properly Based on Material

Clean Your Sex Toys Properly Based on Material

One size doesn't fit all when it comes to sex toys, and the same goes for cleaning them. You can't wash and dry everything the same way—it depends on what material they're made out of.

It's important to keep sex toys clean so you don't spread bacteria to yourself or your partner(s). Health and beauty site Divine Caroline suggests adult toy cleaner (which is usually available at any adult shop) or antibacterial soap and water for all toys, with a few specific instructions for each material. (Regular soap should be just fine too, as we've explained before.)
  • Rubber/jelly: These are porous and can trap a lot of bacteria, so a thorough wash with soap and water or rubber-specific toy cleaner is a must.
  • Silicone: Silicone isn't porous so a gentle soap and water wash will do.
  • Glass, Pyrex, or stainless steel: Basically the same as silicone. Pyrex can also go in the dishwasher (as long as it's not battery or electrically operated, of course).
  • Cyberskin, Neoskin, and other skin-like materials: Depending on material, these can be porous so a thorough wash and dry is the way to go. Divine Caroline also suggests a light coating of cornstarch to keep these toys maintained.
Click the link below for more instructions on keeping your toys clean and safe to use.


Wanton Ceramic Figurines - favourite characters in s&m garb


These sculptures were exhibited at the Aqua Art Miami this year, and while we missed it on our trip to Miami, we gathered a couple of sentences from the artist’s statement on this work:
‘The contempt for effusive sentimental goods, that pander to nostalgic consumers led me to take these objects and disable them. In this process mass produced figurines become individual and surreal.  These ideas are in conjunction with Duchamp’s ready-mades, Rauschenberg’s erased de Kooning, Paul McCarthy and Jeff Koons.’


In passerella gli alieni fetish di Margiela Emmy Rossum