Women want sex just as much as men - emotional connection was key to having "good" sex - Mirror Online

Women want sex just as much as their partners - or even more - according to a recent survey.
Kindara, a fertility app, asked 500 female users about their opinions about the female libido.
More than half of the respondents said they weren't entirely satisfied with how much sex they were currently having.
A whopping 75 per cent said they'd like to get cosy under the sheets more than three times a week.
And an energetic 13 per cent said they wanted to have sex more than six times a week.
Survey: More than half of those surveyed were not satisfied with how much sex they were getting
When it comes to performance, 72 per cent said they orgasm during every sexual encounter and "many" did multiple times.
Just over half the women quizzed said that emotional connection was key to having "good" sex, while 23 per cent said foreplay was more important.

the results show they want as least as much sex as their partner, and for the most part they actually want it more often

Stress was their biggest obstacle to sex, according to about 40 per cent of respondents.
But 18 per cent said nothing would get in the way if they wanted to have sex.


Growing Up Kinky

Dr. Gloria Brame Headshot
When you read popular kinky novels, you get the impression that being kinky is a choice you make as an adult. The protagonist reads a book, sees a movie, or meets that one certain kinky yin to their vanilla yang, and their entire sexual identity shifts. That's how it happened in Nine and a Half Weeks. It even happened that way in Story of O. You meet someone else, and before you know it, you fall into a pit of lust and do stuff you never even dreamed of doing before.
In other words, it's all fiction. It's a way for people to rationalize their desires: "Oh, I was just walking along, minding by own vanilla business, and then -- whoosh! -- I saw this hot woman behind me, and now I'm a lesbian." No. It doesn't happen like that. Even when it feels as if it does, it doesn't.
Sexual identity doesn't start in adulthood. You can't catch sexual identity from someone else or be "turned" if you are not built for it in the first place.

Charles Williams

Williams came to Oxford after joining the Inklings. He soon became a fixture there, drawing crowds to hear him lecture on Milton, Shakespeare, romantic love, the Arthurian mythos. His eccentric views exasperated and sometimes infuriated the far more conservative Tolkien. Williams viewed his own wife as "his Beatrice, muse and model of perfection," none of which prevented him from developing passionate, if mostly platonic, relationships with younger women. At least one of these involved ritual sadomasochism, of which Williams wrote in a letter to his paramour: "I am sadistic towards you, but … I wouldn't hurt a fly unless it made it perfectly clear that it liked it. And then only a little. And then only for the conversation."

Review  - J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and 'The Fellowship' of fantasy writers

7 Surprising Sex Trends Throughout History, Because People Have Always Been Frisky
When I was a teenager, I had an older relative who used to like to tell any young person who crossed her path, "You kids think you invented sex!" And while I didn't technically think that sex had been invented in 1997 (the year I finally got someone to agree to touch my vagina), I did assume that all of the fun and interesting kinds of sex had probably been invented fairly recently (probably by people at Woodstock or something). After all, hadn't sex been pretty much limited to heterosexual missionary-style couplings with the lights off until, like, 1963?
Of course, after I took a break from having my vagina touched and decided to go read some cultural history, I learned that sexual innovation was nothing new — not only had people been inventing and then dropping sexual trendssince pretty much the beginning of recorded history, but many of our most hallowed sexual and romantic traditions started as a freaky sexual trend hundreds or thousands of years ago (or, conversely, some things that we currently consider a freaky sexual trend where considered totally vanilla and normal hundreds of years ago).
So what did our ancient ancestors do when they were looking to spice things up on date night? Here are seven historical sex trends that will leave you unable to look your history textbook in the eye ever again.

Ancient Egypt (3100-332 BC): Lipstick Means You're Open To Oral

Why doctors need to pay more attention to their kinky patients

  On Valentine’s Day weekend last year I found myself at Paddles, the local dungeon in New York City’s Chelsea neighborhood, for the first time. I was perched at the alcohol-free bar when a man politely introduced himself as a human carpet. He asked that I tread on him and lay on the floor to demonstrate. A professional dominatrix-in-training stepped onto his chest and buried her stilettos deep into his belly. His eyes were closed and he looked calm—blissful, really. As a medical student, I winced, imaging the arrangement of his delicate organs in relation to her vicious heels.

Can A Feminist Be Submissive, Too? How Feminist Politics Support My Kinky Sexual Desires

I didn’t always know that I was a feminist — or that I was a submissive.Growing up in a rather conservative family in southern Ohio, neither of those words were ones that I heard at the dinner table. But as I grew older, my adolescent dreams and fantasies often led me into kinky waters. Although I felt awkward in my body through my early teen years, I felt at ease as I would stare out the school bus window, looking past the suburban landscape and imagining a world of taboo fantasies that provided an odd comfort to me — a hidden treasure of a world that only I could access.
My feminist identity began to develop in high school, as well, as I ravenously read through every feminist piece of literature that I could get my hands on, and spent my time worshiping Sylvia Plath, Yoko Ono, Diane DiPrima, and Kathleen Hanna.

Madonna gets kinky in S&M-themed shoot while slamming attitudes to women: “You’re still either a virgin or a whore”

The outspoken star feels “gay rights are 
way more advanced than women’s rights” 

The Many Heresies of Madonna Louise Ciccone

Mert & Marcus
Photography by Mert & Marcus
"Why was she gay? Come on!”
Irked, Madonna twists her fingerless lace gloves, exposing a bejeweled skull on her ring finger. It’s a Friday night in the dead of winter, and we’re sitting in a windowless office in an anonymous skyscraper in Midtown Manhattan. The drab space has been enhanced at Madonna’s request with a few cultural cues: Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless streams in an adjoining room, while Carl Dreyer’s 1928 masterpiece, The Passion of Joan of Arc, streams in this one, as the Queen of Pop lashes me for my ignorance regarding the Maid of Orleans. The lashing is figurative, but Madonna’s impatience is real. I’m only stating the obvious, I think, in observing that the virgin warrior must have been gay, but what this lazy assumption tells Madonna is that I have completely missed the point of Joan of Arc. 

The psychological toll of being off-duty but "on call" 
That increasingly common end-of-day feeling: of physically leaving the office, only for it to tag along home. Thanks largely to technology, our availability – to clients, bosses and co-workers – extends into our evenings, weekends and even holidays. Getting a clear account of what this means for us isn’t easy, as jobs that intrude more into leisure time are also distinguished by higher pace and further factors known and unknown, making it hard to pinpoint what harmful effects, if any, are specifically due to our constant availability.


How to get more men using condoms – put the pleasure back into sex Pleasure, excitement and intimacy are powerful drivers in young people’s sexual decision making. But they are rarely considered when it comes to strategies for reducing the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or promoting condom use. 

Handcuffs, traps and spikes shed light on sex lives of insects

A male Mexican true bushcricket, left, grasps female with bear-trap genital claspers. L Barrientos-Lozano
Handcuffs, spikes and traps – you would think they were part of some bondage aficionado’s bedroom collection. But what are they doing in the insect world?
A new study I worked on sheds light on why some bushcrickets – usually gentle creatures – get pretty violent when it comes to sex, and in the process helps to settle a decades-old debate about their odd mating habits.